Safety cameras cut terrorism

New research by the anti-terrorism branch of MI5 has shown that 60% of terrorists exceed the speed limit when driving. In response, Transport 1650 has carried out a poll of known terrorists, which concludes that the fear of being caught on camera and issued with a fixed penalty notice is a real deterrent to the terrorist's activities. One interviewee claimed to favour a two-year stretch in camp delta rather than face the stigma of having 3 points on his license and a £60 fine.

Based on our detailed scientific research we are urging the 24 existing safety camera partnerships to liaise with the anti-terrorist squad and install cameras at known terrorism black spots. Sussex Camera Partnership was first to respond by placing a camera outside the grand hotel in Brighton. The manager there told us, "Since the installation of the safety camera, there have been no terrorist attacks on our hotel."

Steve, a spokesperson for Transport 1650, responded, "With these results there can be no question that speed cameras reduce, and indeed eliminate, terrorism. We urge other partnerships to follow suit in the name of public safety."

When asked for comment, Sussex Safety Camera Partnership said, "Most terrorist organisations are extremely well funded and likely to cop the maximum fine, just what we need to help our falling sales and increasing revenue targets."

Transport 1650 also believe this approach could be expanded to include airports and other known terrorist targets. A recent study showed that most aircraft take off in excess of 100 MPH. This is strong evidence showing a link between aircraft speed and terrorism, and we will be campaigning to install cameras at the end of runways, many of which are less than 1 mile away from a 50mph limit.

A spokesperson for the local Camera Partnership confirmed, "We already have powers to install cameras at airports, but were previously concerned that the planes may crash in to them. We are working with the authorities to erect the appropriate signs prior to installing and will pilot the trial at all major airports before ignoring the results and rolling out to minor ones too."

When queried about whether this would lead to pilots being distracted as they attempted to land or take off, the spokesman replied, "The take off and landing of an aircraft are the most critical phases of the flight, and it is crucial that the pilot is watching his speed at these times".